Deviantly Happy, Title Track

I've had several times in the past few days when I find myself smiling just thinking about good moments - when conversations that could've be awkward or uncomfortable were nothing but caring and protected. I love the way this all is, and I am so thankful that it's with you.

This is how it seems to me
Life is only therapy
Real expensive
And no guarantee
So I lie here on the couch
With my heart hanging out
Frozen solid with fear
Like a rock in the ground

Oh but you move me
You give me courage I didn't
Know I had
You move me on
I can't go with you
And stay where I am
So you move me on

Dude, stop. You're justifying the stereotype.

To Whom it May Concern:

I walk through these halls and I'm asked to be supportive. I'm constantly told to be more PC, to be accepting, to love others. I'm chastised if I slip, I am held accountable.

Most of the time, I don't need the constant reminder or the request from you to treat others with respect - that's something I already believe. I hate the idea that someone else in this world might feel worthless or even hate themselves because of something I may have said or done. So in favor of common decency, I try to let you be you and love you for who you are. I have been called to love my neighbor as myself, to love my enemies. I fail - often - but I strive to do better with each opportunity. I believe in a world that can be kinder and more loving. This is my goal, this is my desire. This is His desire. Again, I keep trying.

I don't want to call you out, to chastise you for your behavior, because I know I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. But I am asked to be respectful - and judged when I can't measure up. Why then do you have the freedom to mock me, to ridicule me, to judge me? I wear this ring because of what I believe. I choose my actions because of what I believe. You say you're liberal-minded, tolerant, but what does that mean? Tolerant, accepting, and loving of people who try simply to be themselves? You take people as they are, yet you cannot afford me the same decency. Do I scare you, bother you, confuse you, annoy you? What is it about my choices that invite your mockery?

I wear this ring, and I choose to wear it on this hand. This choice opens me up to questioning because I'm not appealing to the status quo. In a way I asked for your response, your confusion. But I also ask for your acceptance, your understanding, your GENTLE curiosity.

Love,

Me

~ a visual language of form, color and line to create a composition which may exist with a degree of independence from visual references in the world ~

A Quixote question...

This might be a little much, but I'm in a contemplative mood here, so roll with it.

I was reading this for class tomorrow and after a few pages, I was ashamed I've never read Don Quixote:

Thus could be born in the bosom of parody one of the greatest and at the same time most carnivalistic novels of world literature: Cervantes' Don Quixote. Here is how Dostoevsky assessed that novel: "There is nothing in the world more profound and powerful than this work. It is the ultimate and greatest word yet uttered by human thought, it is the most bitter irony that a man could express, and if the world should end and people were asked there, somewhere, 'Well, did you understand your life on earth and what conclusions have you drawn from it?' a person could silently point to Don Quixote: 'Here is my conclusion about life, can you judge me for it?'"

So naturally this prompted a conversation with my office mate. Have you ever read a book that moved you so much that at the end of your life if someone were to ask you how you understood your time on this earth, you would point to the book as the marker? I thought about this and would say the bible for me, because I believe it's God-breathed and as such, His plan for my life. But I'm curious... what's your life's story?

You'll be my Snuggie forever

I'm laying here in bed with a Bakhtin book by my side and I can't get motivated. Partly because I have to read over 100 pages and can't get into this crap and partly because of my new Snuggie. Let me tell you about the Snuggie. Now I'm sure you've all seen the infomercials, but those ads simply do not do the Snuggie justice. I'll tell you why. Those commercials do not at all prepare you for the type of loving relationship you can expect to have with your Snuggie.

I thought I was just getting another blanket, but what I got during my afternoon nap today was so much more. I fell asleep warm all over - from my neck, arms, and down to my feet. When I awoke, Snuggie was still there right where I left him, holding me and keeping me toasty warm. Later tonight I went to bible study, and when I came back home? There Snuggie was, with open arms inviting me back to bed and away from Bakhtin. Now I've only had Snuggie for one day, but it is a day I will always remember and that's why I say, "You'll be my Snuggie forever."

- especially because the infomercial promises that because Snuggie's machine washable "[I'll] get years of warmth and comfort."

when Sexual Harassment could be funny

Okay, really it's never funny, but one specific situation made me giggle.

Yesterday I went to class and my professor had just come back from a mandatory sexual harassment seminar. He announced that he received a badge and special to-go mug because he officially learned how to respect others, according to the seminar and the consequent certificate. So what's funny about all of this you ask?

The mug reads RESPECT in large letters. But underneath in small writing it reads, "Give it. Get it." Now I know those words are referring to RESPECT, but I think they are a poor choice of words for the topic of sexual harassment. Really, giving and getting? So naturally I started considering what other inappropriate phrases could walk the fine line between respect and sexual innuendos. Here's a couple. Feel free to add your own.

RESPECT
"because it feels good."

RESPECT
"Everybody wants some."

RESPECT
"...even after a long day."

RESPECT
"Just do it already."

Bittersweet, well mostly just bitter

So I have a TON of work to do and it's so ridiculous that I'm taking a minute, or ten, to blog and facebook/myspace, but this is serious. Please read:

"My girlfriend told me that she don't love me anymore
She packed her bags and her cell phone, moved right next door
She called and told me she was moving in with my best friend
This is where the party ends

I used to love her bad
But she didn't love me
Used to kiss her lips
Now I watch them bleed
Gave her a diamond ring
Now I want it back
Besides she sucked in the sack

(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Sucked in the sack
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Want my ring back
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
My heart is black
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Screw my friend Jack

I can see her through the window with my ex-friend Jack
She broke my heart, so my guitar and me wrote this crap
I don't care if their love affair ever lasts
Cuz I'm about to kick his ass

I used to love her bad
But she didn't love me
Used to kiss her lips
Now I watch them bleed
Gave her a diamond ring
Now I want it back
Besides she sucked in the sack

(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Sucked in the sack
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Want my ring back
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
My heart is black
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Screw my friend Jack

One day Jack came over to apologize
He told me, my ex which is his new girlfriend was out every night
Jack said I think she's been cheating with my new friend Jim
Say you love her too bad cuz now she loves him
Pulled a Jerry Springer on me now your outta luck
My new girlfriend thinks you all suck

(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Sucked in the sack
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Want my ring back
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
My heart is black
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Screw my friend Jack

(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Sucked in the sack
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Want my ring back
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
My heart is black
(Bittersweet, bittersweet)
Screw my friend Jack"

These are lyrics from Bret Michaels' song Bittersweet.

I can only blame myself for buying this CD, but in my defense, I thought if you like one member of a band, you end up liking her/his solo music b/c more often than not, there's a similar sound (note: Ben Folds without Ben Folds Five, Eddie Vedder without Pearl Jam, Phil Collins without Genesis, Belinda Carlisle without the Go-Go's. That last one might be a stretch, but my argument remains the same.)

So I was thinking, Poison had a good run and Bret Michaels wrote Every Rose, and who doesn't listen to that song, drink cheap pinot and think "man, I've been there." ? Well, I was misled. Bret Michaels' Rock My World is quite possibly THE WORST CD I've ever heard in my life! And to think, I checked my mail box for a week desperate for this latest amazon purchase to come in.

And now I am so disillusioned, I can't possibly concentrate on this term paper. Thanks for nothing Bret Michaels, thanks for nothing.

at least every night has its dawn.
*sigh*

Ready, set, blog number 1

So I thought I'd officially write my first blog. I kept putting it off, because I wasn't sure where to start. Then I thought I would write last night using the political revolution as a distraction, which should emphasize the theme of all future blogs... overanalytic.

Anyhow, I'm heading to a hospice holiday dinner. The craziest part? Wait for it... I kinda think I might meet someone tonight. Perhaps it's just because I want to, but I'm expecting something crazy. More to come, ya know, post meeting my future partner.